THE DAY I MET DICK MORRIS

I heard Dick Morris on the radio yesterday being interviewed by local host, Pat Campbell. He was in town book signing to promote Hilary v Condi. That sounded interesting but I had no intention of fighting I-4 traffic at rush hour to get to the East Colonial Barnes and Noble by 7pm. As it turned out, Sean needed a ride to Winter Park to pick up his ailing car so I found myself not far from the book signing at a quarter to seven.

I arrived almost exactly at 7pm, and Morris had a giant tour bus outside with his name and a large picture of the book cover. New York Times Bestselling authors live a little like rock stars it turns out. When I entered a college aged clerk had a stack of all the Morris books and she said that he would autograph any one of them. I wasn't much interested in the newest book. I already agree that Condi would be a great candidate if she would run. I picked up his Machiavelli book and thought about buying it, but then I decided on OFF WITH THEIR HEADS his 1993 book. He writes one every year, I think. I walked to the counter to purchase it and then changed my mind. I don't need another book. I decided to listen to the talk and then go.

Morris was still swilling delectables inside the bus by 7:15 when Trish called with news that she had to work later than planned. As she was telling me about the intern that didn't finish the flyer he was supposed to make, Morris came riding up the escalator shorter than any man in the building, and paunchier than the sitdown FoxNews interviews would suggest. Trish kept talking and asked why I wasn't responding, not knowing that I was in a crowd of people and I didn't want to interrupt Dick who was only 15 to 20 feet away. He began apologizing for being late. The event was scheduled for 7pm but he told a radio audience 7:30 so he decided he would do two talks. I remember him saying 7 early that morning so he must have gotten confused on the drive home interview.

Dick Morris is uniquely interesting in these times as the man who worked for Clinton in the 1990s, but isn't a committed liberal. He spoke of the differences between Bill and Hilary and how people are angered that he's "against" the Clintons. He says it's not like he appreciates Jack and Bobby and doesn't like Ted. Bill and Hilary share no DNA. Morris slyly took credit for many Clinton accomplishments through the evening like Welfare Reform, earned income tax credit etc. But he also criticizes Bill for not prosecuting the War on Terror in the 90s. He thinks Bill is a great engaging guy who went into politics because he likes adulation and the warmth of crowds. Hilary he says is nothing but a socialist that wants to re-distribute wealth.

His main message though was Condi will run for President if we say we want her to run. He quotes Churchill who says that some people are born great, others strive to greatness, and some have greatness thrust on them. He also cited the Eisenhower example of a person who didn't actively run for office and didn't even say whether he was a Republican or Democrat and he won the New Hampshire primary anyway. He joked that No means No on a date, but not in politics.

His talk was shortened and he said he was going to sign some books, give a longer talk at 7:30 and then sign some more. Enough of what he said was interesting and the line wasn't long so I decided to buy a book for signature. I was about six people away from the signing when he decided to halt autographs and talk some more. This put me standing on the left hand side during his talk and as his eyes scanned the crowd, he made eye contact with me frequently. I couldn't figure out if I was the right height or just listening intently enough that I made a good anchor on that side of the room.

His talk was much the same as the first but he was relaxed far more the second time. He was more gregarious and he told more jokes and had a disarming laugh that made us all join in on several occasions. In the second talk he went on about Condi more and how we should form local groups to try and draft her for president. He seems to be using the book tour to promote a grass roots effort. He also told us that a radio caller had called him a Judas for what he did to the Clintons. He said that he never kissed Clinton. He laughed and we joined him.

He said the indictment against Tom Delay by Ronnie Earl was nonsense. All politicians do what Delay did. But he also thinks that Delay should be prosecuted for his gerrymadering that's ruining democracy. According to Morris, there are now only 20 competitive districts in the House of Representatives due to Delay. He asked me to hold up my copy of OFF WITH THEIR HEADS as said this earlier book would explain it better. He didn't mention that the current situation began when courts started gerrymandering districts to create black congressmen before the Republican takeover. That sucked out so many obvious voters that many Democrats had trouble keeping their once safe seats.

The best question came from a leftwing woman who said that she thought the war was immoral when children didn't have health insurance and the environment was so terrible. Another woman wanted to answer the woman and she started to say that her son just returned from Iraq and didn't agree, but Morris said that he would answer the question because it was his book signing.

He began by telling her that she had a lot of courage asking that question in this crowd and that he would personally ensure her security which brought a big laugh from the crowd. He explained that Saddam Hussein as far as genocidal maniacs was on of the worst in history and the war saved lives a freed an enslaved nation. There were no weapons of mass destruction, but everyone thought there were weapons. He said that Bill Clinton told him back in the 90s that Saddam had these weapons.

As far as health insurance, he and Clinton found $10 billion to ensure every kid in America and much of the money was sent back because states didn't need it all. He and Clinton also setup the earned income child credit so that every family would get enough money back to rise to over the poverty level. He was angry that John Edwards was proposing this in the last campaign when it's been law since the 1990s. Now on the environment he told the poor woman that Bush has been horrible and began to explain to us that global warming is making hurricanes worse and Bush won't address it. He said that if it weren't for the war he would oppose Bush because of his record here. It got to the heart of Morris' view on politics. In his world, every human crisis can be addressed through the political process. That the Earth is getting hotter and it has no human cause, doesn't mean that we cannot cool that darn thing down with enough legislation.

When he finished, the line began again and I got closer to having my OFF WITH THEIR HEADS inscribed. The gentleman two up handed Dick a large piece of paper currency and it seemed to surprise him. The guy wanted him to take the money for the draft Condi effort Morris had proposed. Dick explained that he could help by buying the book or he should take that money and form a club on his own. The guy left confused, I think. The girl in front of me told Dick that she was a socialist. I suppose she wanted a reaction considering that Dick had called Hilary one earlier. Instead, he said that she was about to get a Senator. Bernie Sanders of Vermont would no doubt be replacing Jim Jeffords.

When I got to the table he shook my hand and asked if I had been in the military, my hair being too long to be a current member. I guess I have that sort of look. I said no, but my dad was in the Army and I was born on a military base. He said that my dad had done a great thing. I guess it was a line he was dying to use on me before I let him down. I said that I enjoyed seeing him on FoxNews. His opinions were original and insightful. He thanked me and I asked what political books influenced him. He told me that if I wanted to run for office I should read his Machiavelli book. I said that I had seen it downstairs but I was interested in what books were an influence to him from a analytical perspective. He said that no book influenced him, it was his own experience in politics that taught him what he knows.